Can I Talk To You?

Hey,

Do you have a minute?

 There is something

I must tell you.

I'm not sure how to word it.

But it is truly important.

Look at me,

Not that computer screen.

Are you even listening?

Are you ignoring me?

I guess it's all the same.

I'm too shy to say.

I'll just retreat

If only for now.

Hey.

Can I tell you something?

It is important.

If only in my head.

Will you pay attention?

Stop texting for once and listen.

Listen to my plea. 

Hey?

I guess it's all the same.

I'm still too shy to say my mind.

I cry myself to sleep again.

These cuts help me.

They are only for you.

Only you.

Hey?

Will you listen this time?

My scars?

What scars?

That face,

I can't help but feel like this.

No.

Don't worry about them.

Do you want some food?

A drink?

Hey.

I have something I need to tell you.

Will you hear me through?

Will you understand my feelings?

I'm not sure if I can tell you.

Don't turn away!

Listen to me,

Please.

I need you to...

I may or may not...

Well...

No, wait!

I need to tell you this.

Sorry, I forgot.

Oh!

Now I remember.

It may be a coincidence...

But you may not feel the same.

It's true that

I may or may not...

But I think I do...

I think that I may...

No... I can do this.

Um, you, take.

That's not what I wanted to say.

I mean to say...

I like you,

I love you.

I'm Hiding Behind These Scars I'll Never Let You See

I'm hiding behind

These scars,

I'll never let you see.

It's not that I don't

Want to show you

Their pattern.

I'm afraid,

So afraid

Of your reaction.

Their pattern

That only scream,

"Monster!"

The hope in each cut.

Hope for my redemption.

Hope for my death.

I'm hiding behind

These scars.

I'll never let you see.

They are cuts of hatred.

I only hate me.

I only despise myself.

These common smiles

Fill my face.

There is a lie beneath them.

Pull up my sleeves.

You see these cuts?

They are for you.

Their pattern 

That only scream,

"Help!"

It's the silence that kills.

The not knowing

Of what is next.

They are all for you,

These scars that only I

Hide behind.

Stuck

Does one know

What is worse than cutting?

To try your best with it;

The razor is sharp,

You know where to cut;

You slide as fast

And as hard as you can.

And yet,

It won't work.

The skin won't cut.

The blood won't pour.

You just cannot bring yourself to do it.

No matter how much pain you feel,

It's impossible.

It doesn't feel better

By doing it.

You're too scared.

Yet you can't live as you are.

You are stuck

In your world of pain.

A Little Thing Called "Love"

How would someone feel

If they told the person they loved

That they loved them,

Everyday?

What if this person only takes it as a friendship thing?

How would you feel?

How would I feel?

I'd feel quite crappy.

How do I know?

I've experienced it.

He doesn't realize it.

He couldn't.

He's too busy trying to be scary.

I wonder,

How much would it take

For him to realize my love?

The Stool

Rain hits the window.

Her heart hits the floor.

What she once thought was love,

Was hate.

He used her.

Almost as if she was just a prize.

He never loved her.

Loneliness crept up on her.

It neglected to inform her

Of how hideous she was.

Darkness surrounded her.

There was no light,

No escape.

She kicked the stool out from under her,

Gasping for air,

But none could reach her.

She warmly welcomes Death,

Who was hiding in the corner.

Desperation

She was desperate,

Desperate to escape.

"The darkness is scary."

She was pulled in.

Echoes fade,

And memories dim.

Loneliness was fun,

In her Wonderland.

Happiness did not exist.

She fell down the hole.

She knew nothing.

The sweets had left full.

"Stop this madness!"

She was desperate to call.

But it was too late.

Her wonderland faded to black.

Monster

I will break you.

I told myself.

No one loves you.

It said.

You are just a liar.

I picked up my razor,

Know all this to be true.

Just do it.

No one will miss you.

I contemplated my choices.

As the cold metal hit my skin.

You are worthless!

A piece of shit!

Blood came pouring out.

Tears follow.

Be careful.

We don't want this to the first

And last time.

My hands raised to my head

As I ripped out hair to stop the talking. 

Cut the flesh,

Feel the pain.

I screamed to myself

As my claws sunk further into my skin.

Isn't the pain wonderful?

I cut myself again.

Isn't red beautiful? 

Once more.

That's it!

And again.

Keep it up!

I no longer flinch.

My tears mixed with the fresh cuts.

It stings.

"It hurts,

But feels so good."

Now write, dear.

I picked up a quill.

Using the fresh blood

From the new cuts,

I write on paper.

Good girl.

It remarked.

Now cut again.

I found a knife

And slide it quickly against my wrists.

Tears stop.

A smile.

I pay no mind to the blood.

I just watch it spill.

I'm going to fuck you

With every line.

Then it stopped.

A puddle had formed.

How long has it been raining

In the bathroom?

I shrugged and made more cuts.

I wanted to stop.

I was desperate to stop.

Then, I did.

I stopped,

And just laid there.